Meeting intended parents for the first time is a big step in the surrogacy journey. These meetings arranged by agencies usually happen over Zoom and are a chance to see if both sides feel a natural connection. They’re not about making a decision on the spot. Instead, they focus on honest conversation, shared values, and comfort. SurrogateFirst helps prepare both surrogates and intended parents so the call feels smooth and stress-free.
What Goes Into Pre-Meeting Preparations?
Before anyone jumps on a call, there are a lot of thoughtful preparations involved. Surrogates and intended parents review each other’s profiles, meet with their coordinators, and think about what they want in a match. Being prepared makes it easier to relax, ask the right questions, and figure out whether it feels like a good fit.
How Surrogates Prepare
Surrogates take time to read through the intended parents’ background and story. They meet with their coordinator to talk about what to expect during the call, what topics usually come up, and how to set boundaries if needed. Many surrogates also take notes on what matters most to them and talk with their family about how involved they want to be.
How Intended Parents Prepare
Intended parents review the surrogate’s profile and motivation letter to understand her personality and why she chose to carry. They also meet with a SurrogateFirst coordinator to go over important topics like communication, involvement, and views on medical decisions. Most also spend time thinking about their own story and how they’ll support the surrogate through the process.
Profile
Each person gets a detailed profile of the other party before the meeting. This includes basic info, lifestyle, values, and hopes for the journey. It helps break the ice and gives both sides a head start on finding common ground.
Letter of Motivation
The letter of motivation is where people open up. It usually explains why someone is choosing surrogacy and what they hope to get out of the experience. Reading this letter can create an emotional connection before the first meeting even happens.
The Match Meeting: What It Is and What Is Discussed
This is a one-hour video call with a SurrogateFirst coordinator present to guide the conversation. It’s not a formal interview, and there’s no pressure to say yes right away. You’ll talk about how you want to communicate, views on pregnancy-related choices, and the kind of relationship you want during and after the journey.
Clarify: The Meeting Is Online on Zoom
These meetings happen online, usually over Zoom (or other virtual meeting software). It’s convenient and allows people to connect from anywhere. Coordinators make sure both sides are ready, from setting up the call to guiding the conversation so it doesn’t feel awkward.
Examples of Questions to Ask/That Are Asked During the Meeting
- How would you like to stay in touch during the pregnancy—text, phone, video?
- What are your thoughts on selective reduction or termination, if medically needed?
- Who do you have at home supporting you through this process?
- Do you want to keep in contact after the baby is born?
- What’s your day-to-day life like with work and family?
These questions help both sides understand how things will work in real life.
Termination Policy
One of the more serious parts of the meeting is talking about selective reduction or termination. Everyone needs to be on the same page about how they’d handle medical decisions. It can feel like a tough conversation, but it’s necessary and handled with care.
Family Support
You’ll talk about who’s in your corner. Surrogates often share how their partner or family is involved, and intended parents might talk about how they’ll support the surrogate emotionally during the journey.
Values
This part of the conversation often reveals the most. You might talk about cultural background, parenting beliefs, religion, or how you see your future relationship. It’s about figuring out if you’re coming from a similar place.
Job
Discussing jobs and schedules is helpful. Surrogates may talk about work hours or flexibility, while intended parents can share how their jobs might affect their ability to travel or check in regularly.
Do’s and Don’ts During the Match Meeting
Do’s
- Be real and honest. Say what you actually think and want.
- Ask questions. It shows you’re thinking things through.
- Give the other person time to talk. Don’t treat it like a one-way conversation.
- Stay respectful. Even if you disagree, keep things kind.
- Let your coordinator help. They’ll guide the flow and keep things on track.
Don’ts
- Don’t push for a decision on the call. You’ll both get time to think afterward.
- Don’t bring up money or contracts yet. That’s handled later in the legal phase.
- Don’t overshare deeply personal trauma. Keep things focused on the journey.
- Don’t take over the conversation. Make space for the other person to share.
- Don’t assume, ask. If something isn’t clear, it’s okay to ask directly.
Is It a Match?
After the call, both sides check in with their coordinator. If both feel good, it’s a match. If not, no problem. You’ll keep looking until you find the right fit. There’s no pressure, and a short pause to reflect is always encouraged.
Mostly a Match – When Is the Decision Made?
Sometimes it feels close, but not quite right. In that case, a follow-up call might help. Most people make a decision within a few days, but there’s no rush. Taking a little time to process usually leads to better outcomes.
Learn more about how long it takes to find a match.
When Do Surrogates and Intended Parents Meet In Person?
Most people meet in person for the first time at birth. If they live close or want to travel, they might meet earlier during medical appointments or screenings. But even without in-person meetings, many relationships grow strong through regular online communication.
SurrogateFirst Connecting Surrogates and Intended Parents
SurrogateFirst supports both surrogates and intended parents from the first profile to the final match. Our coordinators walk you through each step, help set expectations, and make sure your questions get answered. When it’s the right match, the conversation just clicks.
Highlight: Pre-Meeting Preparations Are Half of the Job
By the time you hop on Zoom, most of the work is already done. You’ve reviewed profiles, talked with your coordinator, and had time to think through what matters. Those early preparations make the conversation flow naturally and help both sides feel confident about saying yes.
Ready to Take the First Step?
Whether you’re a surrogate ready to carry with purpose, or intended parents starting your journey to family, SurrogateFirst is here to support you every step of the way.
Start your journey with SurrogateFirst.
Learn more about the surrogacy process in our guide.
Why SurrogateFirst?
At SurrogateFirst, we’re more than a matching agency—we’re your support system.
- Compassionate, personalized matching
- 24/7 access to dedicated case managers
- Legal and medical coordination
- Transparent pricing
- Emotional support for surrogates and for intended parents alike
