Once the baby is delivered, the surrogate’s journey continues as she enters the postpartum recovery phase. While every woman’s experience is unique, understanding what to expect and how to care for yourself during surrogacy pregnancy recovery can make the process smoother and more manageable.
This guide will answer your questions, help you understand what to expect physically, emotionally, and in the long term after a surrogacy pregnancy. and what support you can expect from surrogacy agencies.
Key Insights
Can surrogates have postpartum depression?
Yes, surrogates and new parents can have postpartum depression due to hormonal changes and emotional adjustment.
Do surrogates get emotionally attached to the baby?
Not if well prepared. Gestational surrogates enter the journey knowing they are carrying someone else’s child.
Relationship with a surrogate after birth?
Post-birth relationships vary, and some surrogates remain close to their intended parents, while others naturally step back, depending on the mutual expectations and communication solidified thru an agreement.
What is the physical and mental recovery process?
Physical recovery typically takes 4-6 weeks after vaginal birth and 6-8 weeks after a C-Section, while emotional recovery depends on the amount of rest, support and mental health care.
Are there surrogacy agencies with mental health support services?
Yes! Some agencies, like SurrogateFirst, offer postpartum mental health support which includes access to professional counseling and wellness programs that extend beyond birth.
Surrogate Story: Reuniting with Intended Parents
Zarah and Her LGBTQ+ Intended Parents’ Journey comes full circle in the most meaningful way. What began as an international match with two dads hoping to start a family through SurrogateFirst and Men Having Babies, evolved into a lasting connection that they both still cherish today.
After delivery, Zarah and her intended parents didn’t drift apart. Instead, they have continued to reunite when possible to celebrate milestones, and stay present in each other’s lives. From staying involved during pregnancy to remaining connected up until this day, their story shows what’s possible when surrogacy is rooted not just in medical care, but also in genuine relationship and respect for each other.
Zarah’s journey captures the heart of surrogacy beyond birth. Watch as she reconnects with her intended parents and the blessing she helped bring into this world. Her journey is a reminder that some surrogacy journeys grow into lifelong bonds, built on mutual respect, communication and genuine care.
Emotional and Mental Well-Being: Postpartum Depression & Mental Health Support
Unlike a traditional pregnancy, where the new mother focuses on bonding with her baby,
Coping with Postpartum Emotions
It’s natural to feel a mix of emotions after delivering a baby. Some surrogates feel a deep sense of fulfillment, while others may experience unexpected sadness or mood swings. These feelings are largely due to hormonal changes and the emotional transition of completing the surrogacy journey.
"I think that is the key: remembering that surrogacy does not end at birth. It transitions. Everyone involved, the parents, the surrogate, and often their families, are all experiencing something deeply human and transformative."
If you experience persistent sadness or anxiety, it’s important to seek support. Speaking with a therapist, journaling, or practicing relaxation techniques like meditation can help regulate emotions. Remember that your feelings are valid, and reaching out for help is a sign of strength
Here are some of PPD professionals that you can look into for support:
Postpartum Depression in Surrogacy
Yes, surrogates can experience postpartum depression. Just like any woman who gives birth, surrogates go through significant hormonal changes, physical recovery, and emotional adjustment after delivery. However, recent data shows encouraging progress in how surrogates are supported through pregnancy, birth and recovery. According to SurrogateFirst’s previously published report, 94% of surrogates reported no postpartum emotional issues, compared to 69% in 2020. Rates of postpartum depression dropped from 28% in earlier years to 14%, while postpartum anxiety declined from 23% to 10%. Postpartum recovery and support have also improved significantly at 53% compared to 2021 as 69% of surrogates did not experience any pregnancy complications.
These improvements reflect a more rigid screening process, better education, and increased access to mental health support. While postpartum depression in surrogacy is possible, these findings highlight that with the right care and resources, most surrogates recover well both physically and mentally.
Surrogate Mothers and their Attachment to the Baby
One of the most common misconceptions about surrogacy is the belief that surrogates struggle in giving up the baby after birth. But in reality, gestational surrogates enter the journey fully aware of the process and the fact that they are carrying a child for someone else. While most pregnancies prepare nurseries and plan baby showers, gestational surrogates prepare for the moment they’ll reunite a baby with their intended parents.
As one surrogate put it, “I went into it knowing it wasn’t my baby and not preparing for a baby to come home.” The moment of seeing intended parents meet their child for the first time is often one of the most rewarding parts of the journey.
To learn more about common misconceptions about surrogacy, read the full article here.
Surrogate-Intended Parent Relationship After Birth: Will We Stay in Touch?
What happens post birth on the Intended parents’ relationship with their surrogate varies widely depending on the postbirth plan and surrogacy agreement that determines communication and emotional boundaries between two parties.
Common types of relationship are full direct communication throughout the journey until birth. Some journeys will state what type of communication post birth if any such as contact the first year with milestone updates like 1st birthday and Christmas cards. In rare instances the parties agree for minimum communications and only for medical updates.
However, after delivery, your relationship with the intended parents may change. Some intended parents remain in close contact, while others naturally step back to focus on their new family. It’s important to have open and honest communication about expectations after birth.
If you feel uncertain about the relationship dynamic over time, discussing it with your surrogacy agency can provide guidance. Setting clear boundaries from the start can help ensure that both you and the intended parents feel comfortable throughout the journey even when life changes moving forward.
Joining a Surrogate Support Community
Connecting with other surrogates who have been through similar experiences can be incredibly beneficial. Many surrogacy agencies, including SurrogateFirst, offer private support groups where you can share your experiences and receive encouragement from others who understand what you’re going through. Peer support can make a significant difference in emotional recovery. Find out more about SurrogateFirst Postpartum support group here.
Physical Recovery After a Surrogacy Pregnancy
Your body has worked hard to bring a baby into the world, and now it needs time to heal. Recovery can vary based on whether you had a vaginal birth or a C-section, but here are some general guidelines to help you through the process.
“Recovery isn’t about bouncing back. It’s about moving forward into strength, resilience, and self-care. Whether you gave birth for your family or as a surrogate, you deserve to be supported and celebrated.”
Your Postpartum Recovery Checklist by Strength & Grace Fitness
Keep this list as your guide during the first 8 weeks after birth:
- Hydrate daily (aim for 3 liters)
- Focus on whole foods, not dieting
- Begin light movement only when cleared
- Practice breath work and core engagement
- Rest without guilt — healing is hard work
- Journal or talk through emotional shifts
- Use our Postnatal Nutrition Guide as a go-to resource
Healing After Vaginal Birth
Recovering from a vaginal birth typically takes about 4-6 weeks. During this time, it is normal to experience postpartum bleeding, known as lochia, as well as soreness in the perineal area. If you had an episiotomy or tearing, healing might take a bit longer.
To aid in recovery, you can use sitz baths or ice packs to soothe soreness and swelling. Staying hydrated and eating fiber-rich foods will help prevent constipation, which can be a common issue after delivery. Additionally, it’s important to avoid heavy lifting and strenuous activities until your doctor gives you the go-ahead. Try to rest as much as possible, even if it means taking short naps throughout the day.
If you had a C-section, your recovery may take a little longer, typically around 6-8 weeks. The incision site will be sore, and you will have some mobility limitations as you heal. It is important to follow your doctor’s instructions on incision care to prevent infections.
Using a belly binder can provide extra support and reduce discomfort while moving around. Though it’s essential to stay mobile to prevent blood clots, avoid overexerting yourself. Your doctor will likely provide pain management options to help with discomfort, so take medications as prescribed to ensure a smoother recovery.
Managing Common Postpartum Symptoms
Fatigue is common after childbirth, and your body will need plenty of rest to recover fully. Even though you are not caring for a newborn, it is still important to allow yourself time to rest. Hormonal changes can lead to night sweats, mood swings, and changes in appetite, but these symptoms usually improve within a few weeks.
If you experience breast engorgement or discomfort, wearing a supportive bra and using cold compresses can help. If you are not breastfeeding, your milk production will gradually decrease within a few days to weeks.
Returning to Normal Activities
Your doctor will provide guidance on when it’s safe to resume activities such as exercise, work, and social outings. Many surrogates find that gentle movement, like walking or yoga, helps ease physical discomfort and boosts mental well-being. However, it’s crucial to listen to your body and avoid pushing yourself too hard too soon.
What Postpartum Recovery Specialists Say
Postpartum recovery specialists, including Strength and Grace Fitness, emphasizes that recovery after birth is not all about pushing through discomfort, but rebuilding strength gradually. This includes gentle breath work, pelvic floor exercises and intentional movements once cleared medically, help restore stability and reduce the risk of having long term health issues.
This approach aligns with the research highlighted in Nine Months In, Nine Months Out by Vanessa Lobue, which reinforces that the body needs time and care after pregnancy, regardless of whether the baby is being raised at home or is reunited with intended parents.
SurrogateFirst: Surrogacy Agency with Mental Health Support Service
Postpartum care remains as one of the most overlooked parts of the surrogacy journey. Once a baby is born, many agencies conclude their role and intended parents are understandably focused on caring for their newborn and adjusting to becoming new parents. In this transition, the surrogate’s emotional recovery is often left unaddressed. SurrogateFirst takes a different approach. We believe that recovery does not end at birth for surrogates, and this is why support during the postpartum period is one of the most important periods for us. Through the SurrogateFirst 4th Trimester Program and a built-in budget for postpartum psychological counseling included in every surrogacy contract, which enables our surrogates to have access to licensed mental health professionals to discuss postpartum concerns such as emotional adjustment, anxiety, depression and the like.
The 4th Trimester Wellness Program is open to all surrogates, including those who did not journey with SurrogateFirst. Whether you are looking for recovery guidance, mental health resources, or a supportive community that understands surrogacy, this program offers a safe and inclusive space to heal and reconnect. Learn more about the SurrogateFirst 4th trimester Wellness Program here.
These programs and all other protections for both parties are written into our contracts by design, reflecting our commitment to safeguarding surrogate well-being before, during and most importantly, after pregnancy.
Learn more about how these protections are structured in our surrogacy agreements here.
Not a Surrogate First Surrogate?
But want to enjoy the 4rth trimester program?
Postpartum Care Benefits across Surrogacy Agencies: A Comparison
Mental health support during and after surrogacy is not standardized across the industry. While many agencies acknowledge the importance of emotional well being, the level of postpartum mental health care offered to surrogates can vary significantly.
The comparison table below highlights how leading surrogacy agencies in the United States approach mental health and postpartum support, helping surrogates and intended parents better understand what services are available and what questions to ask when choosing and agency.
Agency | Postpartum Sessions | Support Groups | 24/7 Access |
Yes – mental-health & wellness, & counseling (1000$ allowance included by default) | Yes – 4th Trimester Program +Postpartum Private Support Group + guided sessions | Yes – Always available through expert team access, even after birth | |
Emotional/mental support included (no details available) | Mentioned, part of All-In Surrogacy Support | Through their Care Team | |
Mentions allocated counseling sessions including postpartum | Monthly meetings + FB group | Via team support | |
Mentions counseling + ongoing emotional support | Implied through specialist support and community | Mentions 24/7 specialist help | |
Emotional support implied, details not available | Community support is available | Mentions dedicated support specialist | |
Mentions licensed mental health professional assigned | Support groups + PSP model | Mentions support team continues post-birth | |
Disclaimer: Based on publicly available information online | |||
Conclusion: Prioritizing Your Recovery & Well-Being
In conclusion, recovering after a surrogacy pregnancy is a unique journey, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Taking care of your body, prioritizing emotional well-being, and staying connected to support systems can make the transition smoother. Remember, your experience as a surrogate has made an incredible difference in someone’s life, and now it’s time to focus on yourself. Few final tips that can help you at the end of this phase:
- Long-Term Self-Care & Future Family Planning: While the initial postpartum period lasts a few months, prioritizing long-term self-care is just as important.
- Future Fertility & Family Planning: Many surrogates go on to have children of their own or choose to carry additional surrogacy pregnancies. If you’re considering future pregnancies, discuss any potential impacts with your doctor. For those who do not wish to have more children, exploring long-term birth control options may be a good idea.
- Staying Connected with the Surrogacy Community: Many former surrogates choose to mentor new surrogates or advocate for surrogacy awareness. Sharing your experience can provide valuable insights to those considering surrogacy. Your journey doesn’t have to end after delivery—there are many ways to stay involved, from mentoring to participating in advocacy efforts.
If you have any questions about surrogacy recovery or are considering becoming a surrogate, SurrogateFirst is here to support you every step of the way.
Why SurrogateFirst?
At SurrogateFirst, we’re more than a matching agency—we’re your support system.
- Compassionate, personalized matching
- 24/7 access to dedicated case managers
- Legal and medical coordination
- Transparent pricing
- Emotional support for surrogates and for intended parents alike
