Being a Surrogate For A Friend: How To Make The Right Choice

How to be a Surrogate for a Friend

If you’re considering becoming a surrogate for a friend, it’s important to understand what the decision involves. Looking at the pros and cons can help you assess whether it’s the right choice for you, but carrying for someone you know can add an additional layer of personal and emotional complexity.

Becoming a surrogate for a friend generally involves the same legal and medical screenings required as part of the broader surrogacy process.

With that in mind, here are some of the key factors to consider when deciding whether to become a surrogate for a friend, and what the process may involve if you choose to move forward.

Surrogacy is a significant medical, legal and personal commitment, even when you’re carrying for someone you already know. Pregnancy also involves health risks, so it’s important to consider the practical, emotional and medical implications before making a decision.

Things to consider before becoming a surrogate for a friend:

Side effects of fertility treatment

• Surrogacy usually involves fertility medications as part of the IVF process. Most people handle them well, but side effects can happen, and everyone reacts differently. It is a good idea to understand what medications you may need to take and talk through any concerns with your medical team before getting started.

IVF process timeline

• In-vitro fertilization and embryo transfer happen in several steps, and pregnancy does not always happen on the first try. Depending on how your body responds and how each transfer goes, the process may take more than one attempt.

Emotional preparedness

• Pregnancy can be emotional, and surrogacy can bring a few extra things to think about, especially when you are carrying for someone you already know. It helps to talk openly about expectations, boundaries and how you would handle difficult decisions before the journey begins.

Legal and financial considerations

• Even when you are becoming a surrogate for a friend, you still need a proper surrogacy contract. It should clearly explain things like expenses, reimbursement, compensation if there is any, medical decisions and what each person is responsible for.

Before making a decision, make sure you understand the requirements of becoming a surrogate, the medical side of the process, why a surrogacy contract matters, what support is available and the main steps involved in a surrogacy journey.

Benefits of being a surrogate for a friend

• Personal connection: Carrying for a friend can be especially meaningful because you already have a relationship with the intended parent or parents and understand personally what helping them build their family may mean to them.
• Altruistic surrogacy: A lot of friends choose to pursue an altruistic arrangement, where the surrogate does not receive base compensation beyond agreed expenses. Of course, this can reduce drastically the overall financial cost for the intended parents. Additionally, although the arrangement should still be supported by a comprehensive surrogacy contracts, the contract might be a little simpler overall.

Challenges of being a surrogate for a friend

• Financial considerations: Even in an altruistic arrangement, there are financial details that need to be clearly addressed. These include which pregnancy-related expenses will be reimbursed, how payments will be handled and what costs may arise throughout the journey. You can learn more about the typical expenses and reimbursement included in surrogacy here.
• Surrogacy contracts: A friendship does not replace the need for a thorough legal agreement. A surrogacy contract should clearly establish each party’s rights, responsibilities and expectations, including issues relating to expenses, medical decisions and parentage. Unfortunately, many altruistic surrogacy contracts templates available out there don’t go far enough with respect to the parentage and custody of the child. To prevent any issue that could damage the friendship later, both the surrogate and intended parents should have appropriate independent legal representation.