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Gay Surrogacy – What Can I Expect?

More states than ever allow same-sex couples or gay single individuals to either adopt children or take the journey into surrogacy.

gay surrogacy for same sex couples

Certainly, going through the surrogacy process is already challenging enough for heterosexual, married couples, so it’s perfectly understandable if same-sex couples have just as many questions about how it all starts out.

The short answer is this: as long as the state allows gay surrogacy arrangements and the surrogacy agency offers services to same-sex couples and individuals, surrogacy is absolutely an option to consider!

With that good news in mind, here’s what to expect if you’re thinking about whether or not gay surrogacy is the best route to start a family.

What’s the gay surrogacy process like for same-sex couples today?

The first thing to decide is the type of surrogacy you want. The miracles of assisted reproductive technology make it possible to fertilize an embryo in a few ways.

So the best type of surrogacy won’t necessarily depend on the sex of the gay couple.

For instance, male couples often choose to have two children, two embryos fertilized from the sperm of each male with different egg donors or the same donor. And female couples also use the same “dual-birth” surrogacy to have multiple children

The difficulty is that you’ll have to compensate each surrogate individually. There’s really no such thing as a combination deal when it comes to surrogacy, so that’s why it’s so important to have a credible, reliable agency on your side that knows how to arrange gay surrogacy correctly.

But one alternative to the multi-surrogacy route is to try to find an altruistic surrogate, usually a sibling of the intended parent, or on rare occasions, a close friend can volunteer to carry the child for the same-sex couple.

Either way, both the intended parents and the surrogate must go through a thorough screening process to make sure that the compensated surrogacy complies with all applicable laws. 

That said, here’s a snapshot of what the legal landscape looks like with respect to same-sex couples and surrogacy.

Are there laws regarding gay surrogacy in certain US states?

One of the most challenging parts of arranging gay surrogacy is the patchwork of laws across the US concerning same-sex couples and gay individuals adopting children. Technically speaking, surrogacy is not an adoption.

Still, the last thing you want is to run afoul of the law accidentally and put the custody of the newborn into question.

So first, we’ll name the states that allow gay couples to adopt children, such as:

  • Colorado
  • Connecticut
  • California
  • Idaho
  • Illinois
  • Indiana
  • Montana
  • Maine
  • Massachusetts
  • New York
  • New Jersey
  • Oklahoma
  • Pennsylvania
  • Vermont

But not every state allows same-sex couples or gay single individuals to enter into compensated gestational surrogacy arrangements.

Additionally, the states that will, in fact, allow gestational compensated surrogacy for gay couples include:

  • California
  • Connecticut
  • Delaware
  • Maine
  • North Dakota
  • Nevada
  • Oregon
  • Rhode Island

If you have any doubts about whether or not same-sex surrogacy is legal in your state, we’d be happy to answer any of your questions when you contact our agency to learn more about gay surrogacy.

Pros and cons of using a surrogate as a same-sex couple

Our goal is to give you all of the correct information about what surrogacy actually entails for intended parents as well as the surrogates. Here are the top pros and cons of using a surrogate for same-sex couples.


  • Potential to start a family without going through the incredibly lengthy adoption process
  • If infertility is an issue, using a surrogate ensures that the child will be born from a healthy female with a healthy reproductive history
  • Some states restrict adoptions for same-sex couples and gay individuals, but surrogacy is still legal in those states

Now, let’s move on to the cons to provide a fair and balanced comparison.


  • The cost to use a surrogate may be too high
  • Surrogacy requires a lengthy, rigorous screening and qualification process
  • Surrogacy agencies vary widely from company-to-company and state-to-state

Overall, those are the top pros and cons to keep in mind when deciding whether or not gay surrogacy is something you’d like to pursue.

If you’d like to know more details about surrogacy for same-sex couples, please reach out to our team to chat with you about your options. 

Our goal is to give you everything you need to make the right decision for your future family.

About SurrogateFirst

We’re a boutique surrogacy agency specializing in quickly matching intended parents around the world with our fully-vetted, exceptional surrogates. 

We help individuals and couples, regardless of race or sexual orientation, build their families through the miracle of surrogacy.

Every team member at SurrogateFirst is either a former intended parent or an experienced surrogate herself. We also have first-hand knowledge of what it takes to have an incredible, successful surrogate journey.

Ready to start your surrogacy journey? Start your application here.

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